We Know Better: Why Youth Sports Keeps Falling Short and What Leadership Has to Do With It
One of the things that continues to frustrate me about youth sports today is that we know better. We are capable of more. And yet, too often, we fall back on the path of least resistance.
I don’t say this from the outside. I say it as a former athlete, a sports parent, a coach, and someone who has spent years studying leadership and systems.
Across youth sports, from rec to elite, the same patterns show up again and again:
Parents are overwhelmed, afraid they’re not doing enough, they’ve invested lots of money
Coaches feel stretched thin, unsupported, and under-resourced
Executives are managing turnover, complaints, and pressure with limited tools
Athletes are caught in the middle, absorbing the weight of adult anxiety and feel the pressure
What’s frustrating is that none of this comes from bad intentions. Most people involved in youth sports care deeply. They want kids to thrive and want sports to build confidence, character, and resilience. But wanting better outcomes isn’t the same as designing systems that support them.
The Gap Isn’t Effort. It’s Leadership.
Where youth sports continues to fall short isn’t effort or passion. It’s leadership clarity.
We often ask adults to “just do better” without ever defining:
what their role actually is
how they should show up when emotions run high
how to support development without adding pressure
how to navigate comparison, fear, and expectations
Parents are left guessing on car rides. Coaches default to what they experienced themselves. Organizations rely on outdated structures and hope culture “figures itself out.” And when things get hard, which they inevitably do, we react instead of respond.
This is where anxiety creeps in and where comparison takes over. At the end of the day, we miss the learning that sport is uniquely positioned to offer.
Presence Over Pressure
One of the most common questions parents ask themselves is:
“Am I doing enough for my child in sports?”
Coaches and directors feel a similar pressure — just from a different angle. The truth is, doing “more” isn’t usually what’s required.
What matters most is:
Presence is power
Connection before correction
Modeling what matters under pressure
Athletes don’t need adults who rescue them from the struggles, the losses, the tough plays, the bad calls. They need adults who can stay steady inside it. That requires awareness, intention, and tools.
This Is a Systems Problem, Not an Individual Failure
When we zoom out, it becomes clear: Youth sports doesn’t struggle because parents don’t care. It struggles because we haven’t invested deeply enough in leadership development at every level. Healthy youth sports doesn’t happen accidentally.
It requires:
systems that support volunteer coaches, not overwhelm them
parents who understand their role as supporters, not as saviors
organizations willing to move beyond the path of least resistance
shared language and culture around development, pressure, and growth
When leadership is unclear, stress trickles down. But when leadership is intentional, confidence follows.
Designing the Experience We Say We Want
If we truly believe youth sports should:
build resilience
foster confidence
teach life skills
keep kids engaged longer
Then we have to be willing to dig in and design for it personally and systemically.
That means:
equipping adults with practical mental and emotional tools
aligning parents and coaches instead of letting them speak different languages
prioritizing development alongside performance
creating environments we’re actually proud of, not just ones that “get by”
From rec leagues to elite programs, the opportunity is there. But it requires leadership that’s willing to slow down, reflect, and choose intention over default.
Final Thought
Youth sports will always involve emotion. It will always include pressure. It will always involve uncertainty. The question isn’t whether those things exist. The question is whether the adults around athletes are prepared to handle them. To look in the mirror and see what they see within themselves first. Because when adults show up with clarity, steadiness, and purpose, kids experience sport the way it was meant to be experienced.
And that’s a system worth building.